Yesterday was a gorgeous day. The kind of day that makes you fall in love with Fall. The sun bakes you and the cool air puts a bit of rose on your cheeks. It was the kind of day you just can’t leave. And yet there is something about this kind of day that I find depressing. It’s as though I can't possibly appreciate it or take advantage of it as much as I feel like I should. I couldn't even really express what the expectations are. I just know that they exist and I have no idea how one goes about fulfilling them. Maybe it all stems from being a kid when warm sunny days were our playground. I didn't tend to let them go to waste, but if I was caught indoors by an adult on a day like that the response was always the same, as though they had all recently attended the same seminar. "It's a beautiful day. Get outside and enjoy it." My God… those days just flew by when I was young… Running around the neighborhood with all the other kids playing unusually intricate and complicated games or make believe scenarios. We raced through those warm late summer days as if they wielded knives. When one of us would finally look at the sky and notice the sun starting to get low, our games' pace quickened to near manic levels. That dipping sun signaled the end of our reign. Our realm belonged to us during the day and to the adults at night. We could hear clinking sounds from kitchens. Dinner preparations were under way. Time was running out and there was still so much to do. No one had officially won the game of freeze tag we paused when we decided to pick up a softball game which dissolved when someone dared Danny Freeman to touch the "witch's house" at the end of the block, which had inspired us to play neighborhood spies with finger guns peeking from behind fat trees, cheeks pressed against the cool bark. We need more time! There’s so much more to do!
Is it possible that the feeling I still get on days like yesterday is some lingering residual from those days so far removed? Is that why as adults we are always saying to kids, "It's a beautiful day. Get outside and enjoy it." Because we know we no longer can, at least not the way we once did, or tried so very hard to do. As kids we sucked the marrow out of those days. As adults, it seems we barely have time for a few bites, then it’s back to our oh so important lives.
“Hello? Is this the sun? I’m terribly sorry but I’ll have to reschedule our appointment. Are you free next week at all?”
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